INTROSPECTION

                                                        

A human is a social animal. We cannot stay alone. We need someone to share our happiness, sorrow, feelings and emotions with. We need someone to talk to, to share our views with, and to listen. That is why we need people- family, friends, relatives and society. People in India are quite social. We value relationships and have a warm, homely atmosphere in most of the families. People are caring for each other’s emotions and helpful. And the Joint family system still prevails here.

I like most things about my country, but when it comes to the status of women in the Indian society, I being a feminist get disappointed. Though things might appear to be improving but in reality women besides being educated, equally powerful, earning, more sensible, responsible; the social status assigned to them is still less than the man. It seems that Indian society was male dominating, is male dominating and will remain male dominating.

We talk of equality, whilst treating fathers as the head of the family. All important decisions are made by him. Though in educated and so called ‘progressive’ families mothers also are a party in decision making, nonetheless the assumption that whatever the father says will be final still exists. If women oppose it they face the brunt of the family, relatives and society. Though our laws are changing and supporting women, in general a very small percentage of them reach out for any kind of legal help. 60% of Indian population resides in villages. Women there are working with men in fields, doing all the house hold work, raising children, working as labours, but when it comes to their rights, their health issues, sanitary needs, it becomes of least important. They are not supposed to talk of their rights. They are raised in families where father and brothers are heads of the family. Females are brought up in an atmosphere where male are superior. They then don’t dare to oppose these male figures most of the time, and if they do, they end up oppressed.

Males are still the heir of the family. Law says daughters too have a share in father’s property, but even today only 5% females claim or get their share, rest don’t even think of it, because they have patriarchal norms to keep up with. The last rights of parents are still performed by males. Those who do not have sons, their relatives can perform the rites but not their own daughters; this is what I find extremely really tragic.

In a marriage both male and female are counterparts, female is called ‘Ardhangini’ meaning the other half, but is it so in reality? Only the girl has to leave the house of the parents after marriage, live and adjust with the groom’s family. Why can’t males live with the bride's family? Our society calls them ‘Ghar Jamai’, which is used as a derogatory term to hurt the male ego. Our society expects only women to stay in sasural and serve the in-laws.

The offence of aborting the female foetus is still practiced, which makes me want to punish those who practice it. I find patriarchy also responsible for the ever increasing rape cases. The males are expected to have a dominant trait. They feel as if they can do anything to females and females have no option but to suffer in silence.

It’s high time we teach the society to respect women. They need to understand, life is not possible without women. If other sexes are not provided with equal respect and position in society, then imbalance is bound to occur, which as we can see all around, as per 1000 males there are approximately 911 females in India.

 

From the very childhood we need to teach our sons that females are not lesser than males; and help our daughters believe the same. They are the equal parts of the society and need to be treated with respect and care.

This will only happen when the atmosphere of our homes showcases this. If each family instils the essence of equality in their ways of upbringing even while engaging with each other we can dream of a better society.

Because “CHANGES BEGIN FROM WITHIN”

-         Rashmi Rastogi, a Homemaker, a Wife and Teacher by profession who believes in the motto ‘let your light shine’. Also a doting mother to a feminist son and daughter.